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Same Thing + Different Circumstances = Different Feelings

After having a seemingly empty brain with my social media “Wee Internet Empire” since just prior to my surgery three weeks ago, over the last couple of days I found myself to be quite reflective. Ergo, a blog post appears.

During the past three years I have gone through several phases of doing the same thing, however each phase was for a different reason.

The same thing that I have been doing is staying home, keeping to myself, doing little or nothing with others and even, at times, doing little outside my home office, or at times, in my home office as well, by myself.

So… the first circumstance is probably the most obvious one to most of you. Covid, the pandemic, whatever you want to call it.

Upon returning early in March 2020 from our trip to Malaysia we went immediately into lock-down, or was it locked-in, or perhaps locked-up. Regardless, the aspect of any form of personal contact with others, even family not in the same domicile ceased to exist, we all became persona non grata, pariahs, potential carriers to be avoided or even shunned.

Sure, I could leave the house, but couldn’t go anywhere there were people. It seems that effectively narrowed it down. As the summer weather arrived I would go for the occasional solo motorcycle ride to nowhere, meaning I would ride out in some direction for a while, then turn around and head home. Later on I was actually able to ride with a few fellow veterans. On these rides we would usually remain on our bikes when stopped, maintaining a two metre spacing between us.

For the first year, the weather was pretty agreeable and I was able to ride from about mid May until December. Yes, my last ride of the year was 06 Dec.

Winter then put a kibosh on things, particularly as many restaurants were shut down and the usual family Christmas was by phone.

With the weather being accommodating, I was back on the bike by mid-March, with the summer becoming more or less a repeat of the previous year. Then the bike developed a serious ailment and was at the bike doctor for two months.

It was about this time that the first circumstance was winding down. Covid was still present, however generally society had adapted and some semblance of routine was beginning to emerge.

For me however, I was preparing to enter my second circumstance.

My hip was now bothering me more and there were often times when I would not even attempt to ride my bike as it was painful to do so. This resulted in the bike going into hibernation in September and remaining there until April of the following year, 2022. After that for the next few months, outings did occur, however were very sporadic and the bike was returned to hibernation in September.

At the same time, a combination of factors caused me to be in a very bad head space. On the medical side, I was going through some problems with my lower legs resulting in hospital visits and regular home care visits, all of which had placed my hip surgery on indefinite hold. Mentally, the aspect of not being able to physically do a variety of things I had been doing all my life, combined with the feeling of being a burden with others having to do things I should be doing, had me basically isolating myself at home and partaking in few activities. Interestingly, I knew that these events were part of life, and that I shouldn’t be having negative thoughts about what I was going through. The problem was, knowing that, but not doing that, made things worse as I would beat myself up for being such a dolt, and, as most of you probably know, nobody can beat me up any better than I can.

Anyway, that was basically the second circumstance.

The third circumstance is happening now, as I write this blog post.

On 27 April I finally went in for my total hip replacement surgery. The surgery was successful, I came home the next day, my recovery started, and at this writing (23 days later) is progressing very well. So I am required to use my crutches and walker, exercise and am instructed not to drive for about six weeks. As a result I am dependent upon Kim to drive me to appointments or any other outings, requiring her to take time off work or change her work schedule, to do so. This is something I try to avoid doing, so I am home most of the time with Otis the cat.

This was the point where I became reflective about the three times l was more or less isolated at home, each for different reasons. As an aside, while reflecting on this I was reminded of a 1963 hit song (Alone) In My Room by Willie & the Walkers, a popular Edmonton group that I enjoyed while growing up.

So… three times I did the same thing, staying at home for an extended period of time. Each time was the result of a different set of circumstances. The first time due to the Covid pandemic, second due to my mental state, and the third due to my surgery. Not only was there three sets of circumstances, I realized that there were three completely different sets of feelings.

Cue the feelings comparisons.

Circumstance Number 1 (Covid) – During the pandemic, collectively we had a most serious situation, and staying home was one of the ways that I could support addressing this situation. I wasn’t fussy about it, however I did feel it was something that could help. I was also introduced to the previously unknown term “Zoom Call”. Basically my feeling was, this is not great but it is necessary, so let’s deal with it.

Circumstance Number 2 (Head Space) – During this period I would have a variety of feelings. I would have periods of low self-confidence, low self-esteem and even low self-worth. I would have periods of self-pity, but more often I would be mad and frustrated because I felt I was causing a burden to Kim and others around me as they had to do extra work and I felt I could not do activities which I considered it was my responsibility to do.

Circumstance Number 3 (Post Surgery) – Physically after the surgery I’m feeling fine, I like not having any pain, I feel my mobility getting better all the time. I know that I need to follow the post-surgery instructions, and pretty much am doing so. So what are my basic feelings? I’m bored and lonely. Everything is in place for me to be out and about whenever and wherever I would like except for that one thing, post-surgery instructions.

So how do these three sets of feelings compare.

I much prefer Circumstance 3, as I know the future is good and I just need to be patient.

Circumstance 1 was not a fun time, however it was something shared between millions of people and, in my view, was most necessary. Let’s work on not have to do something like that again.

Circumstance 2 was an unpleasant time. I know it’s also a type of time that many people go through, in some form or other. To let people know they are not alone in that regard was one of the reasons for writing this blog post in the first place, and sharing some of my not so happy feelings. Thank goodness Kim was able to deal with my mood swings, it was difficult for her for sure but I’m blessed that she stuck with me.

Well, there you have it. A few snippets of my life over the past three years. Of course I have not done “chapter and verse” of absolutely all that transpired. I just wanted to pass along some basic circumstances and the feelings associated with them.

Thanks for reading. Catch next time. Please take care of yourself and look out of others.

Community Service Recognition

Interestingly, Facebook and various photo software applications have a feature which gives one memories of posts or photos from the past.

I’m sure that many of you have discovered, as have I, that ofttimes these are not only memories, but emotions as well.

Today, up popped some photos of a trip that Kim and I made to Ottawa in 2019. We were there to meet with Canada’s Governor General who presented me with the Sovereign’s Medal for Volunteers.

It was an honour to both meet the Governor General, and to receive the medal.

Today I was caused to reflect back on a number of things, one being my community involvement over the years, beginning in my youth.

I have been involved across Canada, wanting to serve the community. This was a valuable lesson learned from my parents as both Mum and Dad were very active throughout my growing up, regardless of how our family circumstances were.

I served, and continue to serve, to the benefit of the community, not to gain recognition. In doing so though, it seems I have been recognized on a number of occasions.

Today, while reflecting, I have decided to share with you, four of the recognitions which meant a great deal to me. I hope to talk about other aspects of community service in future blog posts or podcasts.

In June of 2002, I was inducted as a Serving Brother into the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem, known as the Order of St John. The presentation was done in the Alberta Legislature by The Honourable Lois E Hole, Lieutenant Governor of Alberta.

In October of 2005, I was awarded the Alberta Centennial Medal by The Honourable Norman L Kwong, Lieutenant Governor of Alberta.

In April 2019, I received the Sovereign’s Medal for Volunteers. The presentation was done at Rideau Hall in Ottawa by The Right Honourable Julie Payette, Governor General of Canada.

In January 2023, I received the Queen Elizabeth Platinum Jubilee Medal from Margaret Day, Kiwanis Western Canada District Division Six Lieutenant Governor.

I am honoured to receive these recognitions, however I am very proud of the community work that I, along with others, have done and the people we have helped in some way to make their lives better. That is the real reward.

Thanks for reading. Catch you next time.

Take care of yourself and look out for others.

This Retirement Thing

Today I have been thinking.

Now, to some who know me, that would be considered a dangerous thing.

Perhaps not, today anyway. However it has been an interesting thing for me. A bit interesting that is. You see, it’s a holiday Monday, here in Alberta it’s called Family Day.

One might imagine that due to the day, I would be thinking about family, and I did a little, however my main thinking has been about my retirement, and some of the factors which have been affecting it.

It is no surprise that topping the list has been COVID. I use capital letters here because that was the way it arrived. Now it has become more like #@&%*$ Covid.

For millions of people, the ramifications of Covid threw the proverbial monkey wrench into the system. My thinking today is more limited to retired folks, because I are one.

Back in late 2018 I retired for the final time, and yes, I even had plans. More than just plans, they were being put into practice.

For a good portion of the winter I would be in Malaysia, based at our apartment, spending time with family, friends and just doing some traveling around. My wife Kim would join me for part of the time as she was still working. The late spring, summer and early autumn would involve quite a bit of time on my motorcycle, going on rides with mates and fellow veterans, or just by myself touring around Alberta. On the weekends my wife and I would relax and travel around a bit, as well as being involved in weekend motorcycle and other community events.

For 2019 most went according to plan. I spent three months in Malaysia, Kim with me for a month. Summer saw some 6000 kilometres put on the bike and we were involved in various activities most every weekend. Right up to the end of the year we took part in both Kiwanis and veterans events. Life was doing okay.

2020 started out quite well, however there seemed to be ominous rumblings. Mid February Kim and I were off to Malaysia for six weeks. For the first three weeks we were joined by our daughter and her husband from Edmonton. For me this was a big event as she would meet her two sisters in Malaysia, in person for the very first time. (If you have been following my blog posts over the years you’ll know we have a blended family.)

After we arrived, the ominous rumblings increased, and people started talking about this Covid thing. The first three weeks went well, daughter and her husband headed home, and the rumblings increased. After another week they were more than rumblings and we reluctantly made the decision to err on the side of caution and headed back to Edmonton ten days earlier than planned.

Turns out, it was a good decision, as air traffic was essentially shut down shortly after we got home. We had to do our two week quarantine and then Kim was laid off as her workplace was shut down (only for about three months it turned out).

I’m sure that everyone is pretty familiar with what followed for the remainder of 2020 and basically all of 2021, so I’ll just talk about how this affected the retirement thing.

Now is a good time to touch on another factor affecting retirement, that being my health. I have always had a pretty robust immune system, however I have had some mobility issues, particularly in the last ten years. I was diagnosed with a bad hip and the decision was made to put me on the list for a total hip replacement. For those who have experienced this, it is an interesting process. Immediately I was scheduled for a whole battery of tests, including, but not limited to x-rays, heart tests, lung tests, dental tests, nervous systems tests, and more. These are all intended to determine if I was suitable for surgery.

All the tests were completed, however our friend Covid had laid a beating on all scheduled surgeries. Then, towards the end of 2021, I was notified to expect surgery in January 2022. About the same time I received a small injury to my lower leg and it was slow healing, which they thought likely due to me being diabetic. Injury, small or not, has a risk of infection, hence the surgery was cancelled.

Turned out that over the years I have developed poor circulation in my lower legs, causing my legs to be discoloured, and have extremally thin skin, which can be easily abrased, and any wounds would be very slow healing. Following that determination, there came extensive treatment by the wound clinic and home health care (kudos and thanks to these awesome medical professionals). End result, I will now be wearing compression stockings for the remainder of my time.

Good news is, the surgeon seems happy with my condition now and I may be looking at surgery in April of this year. After still more tests of course.

Now, back to this retirement thing.

Of course, any social activity had become a non-starter during 2020, so it was just me, or Kim and I, for the majority of the time. With my hip issues, I made the change from two wheels to three and bought a trike to ride. This made Kim happy and she now rode with me quite a bit. Between the two bikes I managed to put on over 8000 kilometres in 2020. As well the weather was helpful as Kim and I had our last ride of the year the first week of December. Throughout the year our riding was mostly solo. On the odd occasion we rode with others, whenever stopped we would be outside and maintain the suggested two metre distance.

For 2021, social activity remained at a minimum. Kim would go to work and get groceries, being masked and maintaining her distance at all times. Basically I would just stay home, so much that even Otis the cat was getting tired of me. Between the weather, a blown radiator and my leg issues, less than 4000 kilometres was accomplished on the bike. Veterans gatherings were almost nonexistent, while Kiwanis took on an extremely low profile.

2022 was more of the same, however we were starting to get out for our weekly dim sum, socially distanced of course. For me, I think Otis was starting to maybe like having me around, or not. He’s a cat so go figure. Very little riding this year, only about 4000 kilometres again. For my legs they were doing regular appointments as well as home care, so I had to be cautious and was not able to plan much. Come summer our veterans group was having weekly gatherings once more, however they were socially distanced in a parking lot. Oh well, at least we were getting together. Then in the fall, we were able to get together, actually inside. With some of our members being immune compromised, they were not comfortable attending. For Kiwanis, meetings were by Zoom only.

In September, we were lucky enough to add a vehicle to our garage. Defined as a Classic is our 1999 Mercedes SLK 230 sports car. For the next couple of months it was able to steal a few thousand kilometres from the trike, however they seem to get along well anyway. The nice thing is that it expands our ability to have some fun travel, day runs on the trike and longer with the Merc.

So now, here we are in 2023.

Soon it will be three years since we have seen our daughters and grandchildren in Malaysia. Otis and I have held down the home front with me getting out of the house for a few hours averaging one day a week. On occasion maybe two. Right now, this is retirement for me… my house. What day of the week is it? Oh it must be the weekend because Kim is home on Saturday and half of Sunday, and sometimes on a holiday (she works most holidays).

But, things are looking up. As I mentioned, possible surgery in April. Late last year I had a coffee with a friend, then with another friend in January, and now one tomorrow, this with a regular coffee mate from before Covid, but now for the first time in about two years or so. The two “summer rides” are resting in the garage, awaiting Spring and the opportunity to get out and about. An increased level of activity with Kiwanis is being contemplated. Our veterans group is getting together more often. And… we hope to be back in Malaysia about a year from now.

So… the retirement thing, what’s it all about. My experiences have been up and down, back and forth, good and bad. Well, that’s what life is, not only for me, but for every person experiencing the retirement thing. We are all different, not better or worse. All unique!

I’ve thrown a bit of light on my retirement thing, how is yours going?

Want to share? Please do! It would be great to hear from you.

Until next time. Ciao!

Let’s Talk Aging — A Chatbot and Me

So today I thought I’d have a bit of an experiment with this new AI stuff that is being reported on. I created an account with OpenAI to try out their ChatGPT chatbot software.

After logging in, I made the following entry: “Things I notice about aging.” The response I got is shown here in italics.

As a language model, I don’t have personal experience with aging, but I can provide some common observations and changes associated with the aging process:

  1. Physical changes: As people age, they may experience changes in their physical appearance, such as gray hair, wrinkles, and age spots. They may also notice changes in their body shape and size, as well as changes in their mobility and stamina.
  2. Health changes: Aging can bring about changes in health, such as increased risk for chronic diseases like arthritis, heart disease, and diabetes. Additionally, the immune system may weaken, making it easier to get sick or develop infections.
  3. Cognitive changes: As people age, they may notice changes in their cognitive abilities, such as slower reaction times, decreased memory and concentration, and reduced processing speed.
  4. Social changes: Aging can also bring about changes in social relationships, as friends and family members pass away or move away. Older individuals may also become more isolated, which can have negative effects on their mental health.
  5. Emotional changes: As people age, they may experience a range of emotions, including increased feelings of gratitude and contentment, but also sadness or anxiety related to aging, retirement, and declining health.

It’s important to note that not everyone will experience these changes in the same way, and there are steps people can take to maintain their health and well-being as they age, such as staying physically active, eating a healthy diet, engaging in social activities, and seeking medical care as needed.

After reading the response received, without being overly wordy, I decided to give my own response on each of the five points shown. As a reference, I am well into my 74th year (for whatever that may mean).

  1. Physical changes: Well, it seems I still have most of my hair, although it is less populated up there. As my hair has always been quite light blonde it’s hard to tell how gray it may be, however there is no question about my beard, it’s gray and lengthy (last shaved in November 2015). Have some wrinkles, and yes, a few age spots. My basic body shape has essentially unchanged for many years as I have been overweight most of my life, although the underside of my upper arms has gained some extra motion when I shake them. Mobility and stamina will be covered under the next item.
  2. Health changes: I have developed arthritis, slightly in both knees, majorly in my left hip, which is awaiting a complete hip replacement (maybe this year). These of course affect my mobility, and combined with my weight, causes my stamina is affected to some degree. After many tests, the ticker seems to be working well, albeit being just a little weak. Circulation in my lower legs is not great, necessitating the wearing of compression stockings daily. (I look at it as providing a little extra leg protection when on my motorcycle.) Interestingly enough, my immune system remains strong and has a habit of telling sickness and infections to generally “buggar off” (and usually they do).
  3. Cognitive changes: Not sure how my reaction times have changed, as I can still get really mad at myself or my computer in just an instant. In other areas though, like driving, my reactions are good, although my responses have become more tempered and experiences learned over the years have provided me with the knowledge that “stupid is as stupid does” and getting pissed off at it ain’t gonna help. One area I really notice a change though is in my memory. I often say, tongue in cheek, that I suffer from “part-timers”, where I forget things part of the time. This can be so frustrating. For example, I can be talking about someone, can see their face in my mind clear as anything, and their name will not come to me. Then sometime after the conversation is done, Bing, there is the name. Aargh!
  4. Social changes: This is definitely an interesting one. I have lost, and continue to lose, my share of friends or family as they die (I’m not always comfortable with the term “pass away”), and it can create a major change when they are gone. I’m the oldest member of our family line, and have been for the last ten years. I stopped working when I retired for the final time just over four years ago changing my social interactions somewhat. I’ve been a member of Kiwanis since 2001 and a couple of motorcycle organizations since 2017 along with a Canadian Veterans group. However, the kicker came in 2019, when COVID basically said, “y’all just stay home and forget about any social life”. This has been a hard one to recover from as many folks are a bit “gun-shy” and are still not ready to get out and meet other people again. It takes time for sure. It also shows up in the fact that although we were in the habit of traveling to Malaysia to visit our family and friends, pretty much every year, we have not been since early 2020 and probably not until 2024. Not seeing two of our daughters and seven grandchildren is hard.
  5. Emotional changes: A couple of expressions that have been around for many years are, “real men don’t eat quiche” and “real men don’t cry”. Well, for me, I’ve loved quiche all my life, however the crying thing has really come to the fore in the last ten to fifteen years. TV, movies, and real life all have, at times, the ability to open up the tear ducts. Guess older eyes need more lubrication. With regard to feelings of gratitude and contentment, I know that I’m grateful to still be looking at grass from the green side and to have Kim, the love of my life, at my side. Also very grateful for her patience with yours truly (I’m sure it must be sorely tested at times). Can’t say I have a great deal of anxiety or sadness with growing old, however I will admit to occasions of frustration when I find that I am unable to do something I’ve done all my life. Having said that, I’m thinking that I’m not quite over the hill yet, so let’s press on.

Okay, there you have it. Some thoughts about aging. Is that everything? Of course not, however you do get the general idea of what goes on in my head.

So, what goes on in your head? I invite you to share with me, and others who read this blog post, your thoughts or experiences about aging.

Thanks for reading. Catch you again in a future post.

Working To Move The Empire Forward

As some of you have noticed, and in some cases, commented on, things have not all been sweetness and light over the last few months for me.

Thankfully Kim has been my rock, especially the times she had to put up with the grumpy old fart persona.

Hopefully though there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel, as long as some nasty bugger doesn’t lengthen the tunnel again.

This past Wednesday I was finally able to get out of the house and went for coffee with my friend Jacqueline. In amongst all her talents, she is a motivator, and I can attest that having a motivator for a friend is excellent. I try to be a motivator, with some success, however it seems that I’m totally ineffective when dealing with myself.

I mentioned Jacqueline in my podcast today which can be heard here. I also created a YouTube video of my podcast. It is available here on my YouTube channel. She has agreed to do a podcast with me in the near future, perhaps more as she has much to share.

I have also been adding to my Flickr channel, now having more that 3000 photos (some only available for family/friends). Today I added photos I took in 2011 during a tour in Annecy, France. Here is a small slideshow sample.

Slowly, but surely, I will be catching up and posting more of the thousands of photos I have, many yet to be digitized. I often say, what good are all these photos if people can’t see them.

I remind people that the best way to keep in touch with Wee Internet Empire activity is to subscribe to my newsletter, Old Guy, New Tricks. When changes, updates, or other interesting things, become available they will all be noted in the next issue of the newsletter.

I am on a number of different platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, TicTok, Twitter, Matador, LinkedIn and others. All the necessary links are available on my website. I invite you to visit, and feel free to connect if you so desire.

Now I have come to the conclusion of today’s self promotion. However if I don’t work to spread the word how will you know what great stuff you will be missing. So thanks for your attention, your comments are always welcome, and hope to see you soon.

I try to wrap up most things by saying take care of yourself, and, if you can, help take care of those around you.

Stop And Hear The Music

To preface… I did not write this. Eleven years ago, a friend of mine sent me this most interesting story.  Upon checking further, I was able to find the story behind the story.

This is a true happening, orchestrated by a writer for the Washington Post.  Read it through and then follow the link at the end to find out the rest of the story.

PERCEPTION

Something to think about . . .

THE SITUATION

In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

image

About 4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 

At 6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 

At 10 minutes:

A 3-year-old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent – without exception – forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was…

Joshua Bell

One of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $200 each to sit and listen to him play the same music. This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. 

This experiment raised several questions: 

* In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? 

* If so, do we stop to appreciate it? 

* Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: 

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Here is the link to the Washington Post article, including a video.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html 

I hope you took the time to read the article, as it’s quite interesting.

So… the question once again is, how many things are we missing as we rush through life?

Definitely a question worth thinking about at any time, but particularly at this time of year.

Thanks for reading, thanks for your support and feedback.

Be well. Take care of yourself and take care of others.

Thoughts and Considerations

Nine years ago this week, Kim and I left Malaysia after a six-week visit. It had been my first time to Malaysia, and it was a most wonderful experience.

Not only did I get to see, for the first time, the country and city where my wife had been born and grew up, I got to meet, in person for the first time, the two daughters from her side of our blended family and our grandchildren. That was so special to me.

Since then, I have been back to Malaysia four more times, in 2015, 2017, 2019 and 2020. Kim and I went for four weeks in 2015, in 2017 we flew over together with Kim staying four weeks and me for eleven. In 2019 I was back in Malaysia for eight weeks by myself. Kim and I traveled for six weeks in 2020 and were joined by daughter Anita and her husband Aaron for the first three weeks, allowing her to meet her sisters in person for the first time.

And then came Covid-19. And it came fast. We actually had to cut our visit short by ten days so that we could get home. Then we had to isolate for two weeks and then Kim got laid off. But that’s a story for another time.

It is now closing in on three years since we’ve been to Malaysia. And we really have no idea of when we’ll be there again. No idea of when we’ll see our daughters and grandchildren in person once more.

Now I started this blog post more than two weeks ago and walked away, leaving it uncompleted. Following that it just sat when my brain kinda went blah. Until today.

To be honest, I have been feeling great frustration within myself. I have things to do, why am I not doing them! I created this “Wee Internet Empire” thing so that I could keep myself involved in something. So what if few people seem to pay much attention.

In reality it’s more than that.

Yes, I want to be in Malaysia, see our daughters and grandkids, but even more I want Kim to get to be with them. She worries so much about them as they have struggled through Covid (most of them actually caught it at one time or another) and the economic turmoil the pandemic caused throughout Malaysia.

And still more than that.

Pre-Covid I had been placed on the list to have a complete hip replacement. As the medical system was stretched so thin during the pandemic it took quite a while to work my way through all the required tests and procedures to be ready for my surgery to be scheduled. At the end of 2021 it was. However, just prior I had developed a bit of an issue on my lower leg and the surgery was cancelled until it could be dealt with. Long story short, ten months later we are still dealing with it. Once dealt with, I’ll have to begin redoing some of the tests and procedures to prepare for surgery as they must be done within a certain time period pre-surgery.

Don’t get me wrong, all is not doom and gloom.

We have been out on the motorcycle over the summer (limited a bit by my leg condition) and have enjoyed traveling around in the Mercedes convertible. We often enjoy our regular dim sum and get together with fellow veterans on occasion. We see our daughter and husband here in Edmonton, my sister from Calgary, while our son from England and his wife came for a lovely visit.

I guess it kind of boils down to the lingering cloud of uncertainty. It seems to fluctuate between shades lighter and darker grey, never becoming black however white remains elusive.

We are trying to make some decisions. Do we hold off on traveling until all is complete, leg issues and surgery. Or do we call our travel lady and book a trip. Certainly something we are trying to work out.

Our future path remains to be seen. I am hoping though, that by sharing these thoughts with you, my readers, it will help me get back on track doing some of the other things which I should be working on.

Thanks so much for reading. Your feedback is always welcome, as is your support.

If you have not already done so, you can keep up with my “Wee Internet Empire” by subscribing to my newsletter, “Old Guy, New Tricks“.

Until next time, be well and take care of yourself.

Motley Mixture of Matters

Recently I’ve had a real mixture of thoughts bouncing around in my aging brain.

Now, this has both positive and negative aspects to it.

The positive aspect is that I actually have thoughts (note that is plural) in my brain. This indicates to me that to some degree it’s still working. The fact that I can remember at least some of the thoughts is quite positive as well.

A negative aspect is that I have thoughts (still plural) but have not completed the process needed to develop any of them properly.

Hence today’s blog post. Today you will get a smattering of a few thoughts, a motley mixture of matters.

Lately in the news, even on CTV, has been the separation of Lisa LaFlamme and CTV (Bell Media). I say separation as there seems to be much discussion as to what it really was. Perhaps she was terminated for being popular and having high ratings, maybe because CTV (Bell) was downsizing, or she was let go because she was a woman with grey hair. Regardless of why, the process used can be described by the letter “D”. It was a despicable, deplorable, demeaning dismissal. Not the way to part company with an individual who was an extremely well known, respected, public face of your organization.

Another recent, highly publicized, event was the verbal abuse directed towards the Honourable Chrystia Freeland, Deputy Prime Minister of Canada. As heinous as this act was, it is yet another example of the growing verbal assaults or abuse, and at times physical threats, directed towards politicians and journalists, mainly women or persons of colour. In my last blog post I spoke about Finger Pointers, those who declare that a situation is always somebody else’s fault. To me, this seems to often be the type of attitude or behaviour which grows from that, growing more extreme. If that is the case, it’s a sad commentary on what we’re becoming.

On a more positive note, one month ago I rode with Michael Terry, on part of his solo Dispatches Adventure Ride, which goes from coast to coast to coast, across Canada and return. Then two weeks ago Kim and I rode with The Rolling Barrage, which is a Canada coast to coast group ride. Both of these rides are in support of, and to raise awareness for, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). As a military veteran I know how much an issue PTSD is to some of my comrades, as well as first responders, so it is important to me to support these annual rides every year. Some videos from this year and previous years is available on my YouTube channel. In the future there will be at least one podcast and more blog posts dealing with this issue and these events.

My last item today is about respect. The respect that I have for health care workers. Over the last few months I have been under the care or treatment of a number of nurses, doctors and other medical people for a variety of reasons. In my dealings with them I have been treated with compassion and dignity. Knowing much of the crap (yes crap) that they have gone through over the past couple of years, I have great respect for their attitude and professionalism. Thank you very much.

Well, that’s it for this blog post, something a little different. I decided early in the process not to have specific directions or timing for my blog, and podcast, but rather just talk about whatever strikes me at the time. This blog post actually came together over a few days.

I would really like to hear from you. Like what I post? Look at other parts of my Wee Internet Empire? Want to do a podcast with me? Like to be involved in a live YouTube event? Have something you think I should perhaps address? Let me know.

Take care. Be well.

A Tale Of Two Quotes

More than likely most folks are familiar with the expression “three strikes and you’re out”.

A couple of months ago I posted a blog, A Lot On My Mind, and one of the things I mentioned is that I’m kind of a “square peg in a round hole” type of person.

Well, the two quotes above do have a connection.

During my lifetime, I have had many occasions where it was evident that I didn’t quite fit in. I learned, and mostly accepted, that it was, for the most part, due to my personality, my way of thinking of things. I am often “outside the box”, which is called creative thinking by many, however it is not something well accepted by others at times, and as well is not always the correct action or process.

For whatever the reason, there occurs occasions when I am not always fully included but rather may just be accepted (with reservations).

I recognize this, and bear no malice, understanding that quite often the second quote above applies.

Now we get to my version of the first quote.

Probably the same as many of you have, I will do things like offering an invitation for coffee or lunch, maybe asking for assistance or advice, suggesting a plan of action for a group or organization, you get the idea. If a response or action is not received, then most often I would make further attempt(s).

There was a time when I would try again, perhaps multiple times, however I realized that is really counterproductive, so on most occasions I have essentially limited my number of attempts to three. My thought process is that more just becomes an irritation that is not needed by either party. I have no doubt that most of you can recall a time being on the receiving end of such an occurrence.

You will notice that I do not provide any examples relating to what I have written above. That is because I am sharing my personal thoughts and do not wish to point a finger at anyone. Any life situation has multiple influences and the only ones I control are my own. Any others I try to recognize, adapt to, and deal with.

There may be those who say, what about this “Wee Internet Empire” thing I keep mentioning, considerably more than three times. In that case it is simply letting people know where the link is, should they be interested.

As always, thank you for reading. All comments or suggestions are welcome.

Until next time, be well.

Is It Really Worth It?

What to write, what to do, how to proceed, these are the questions I’m dealing with at this time. The blog post title says it all.

I had this grand vision to share my thoughts, words, photos, videos and experiences, and, to have fun doing it, by creating what I called my “Wee Internet Empire”.

I started out fine, was excited, and began putting things together. My blog, this blog, had been in place sporadically for a good many years, with this being the 68th blog post. I have posted about half a dozen stories on this blog as well.

My YouTube, Vimeo and Flickr were in place for a number of years, however were not connected to each other nor was there any inclination of a theme.

My Facebook originated about fifteen years ago, as did my Twitter. I don’t use my Twitter all that much these days, one reason being the platform content has changed so much. As for Facebook, the constantly changing Facebook Algorithm really causes a kerfuffle there. Imagine Frank Sinatra trying to “start spreading the news” on Facebook today.

I have been on LinkedIn for a very long time, using it to maintain contact with a great number of people, even though I am now retired.

In August, after talking with our son, and my friend Rob, I figured I would enter the podcast arena and have twelve podcasts published up to this point. Rob and my sister have provided some suggestions for the podcast moving forward.

I had been on, and off, Snapchat a number of times and have started a new account recently, however this time I am trying to use it as part of my entire program.

It seems that half the world is on Tik Tok. I joined Tik Tok primarily so that I could support our son who uses it to promote his business. One of our daughters is also on Tik Tok, however just for the cat videos. I have had a bit of fun posting so am still going to continue with it.

I got a Discord account so that I would have another avenue to communicate with a youth group I’m an advisor for. Then I thought, I could maybe do something here as well, so I created my own Discord server, which now has other members.

My latest addition was a newsletter. I came across a newsletter on Substack from a friend and saw that there was a good possibility I could use my own newsletter to tie everything together for my “Wee Internet Empire”.

So now we get to the crux of the issue. Is it really worth it?

I don’t have any expectations of going viral, becoming world famous, having thousands of subscribers. That, of course, is totally unrealistic.

Currently I am retired, staying at home for the most part as I am a bit mobility challenged awaiting hip replacement surgery and being very careful going out anywhere due to the potential risk of Covid.

As a result my primary daily focus is this “Wee Internet Empire” thing, and feeding Otis the cat.

That all being said, there are times, more often recently, when I find myself in a vacuum. Some of you may have heard some version of the expression “my get up and go has got up and went”, although there are times I feel my get up and go decided not to visit me in the first place.

I have long been able to successfully support and motivate others when they had times of disappointment, frustration, or were feeling down, however am very unsuccessful at doing the same for myself. As many of us are aware, there is nobody who can beat us up more effectively than ourselves.

While I am typing this all out, I am talking to you, my readers. At the same time, I am also talking to myself, something that is medically proven to be a good thing (Talking To Myself).

Even so, something I feel is lacking a bit, is feedback from others. It is for this reason that I always ask people to take a moment and visit one or more of the platforms that I use. Visit my website, read my blog, listen to the podcast, look at some photos, watch a video, read the newsletter, whatever. And then, perhaps take a moment, like it , maybe make a comment, share it with a friend, and best of all, recommend it to a friend.

I have been thinking through, working on, Googling thoughts, for this blog, for a couple of hours now. Then reviewing, checking for typos, or other errors. As I do so, I am feeling a little better, being active always has that effect, so my target is to be as active with this as possible. I really hope my get up and go will visit more often.

Once again, thank you for reading this blog post. I invite you to check out my “Wee Internet Empire” by visiting my website, LeSueur.ca. Any comments, recommendations or criticisms that you may have are always welcome.