Personal | Richard's Ramblings

Contemplations – Thoughts – Action

It is really quite interesting. A few days ago I was beginning the process of formulating this post when I received the article, A Morning Reflection on Life from Ivan. Upon reading it I asked if I could share it, he said I could, and I published it as a guest blog post.

Interesting because I was contemplating having the title of this blog post Thoughts As We Near Life’s End. Not the morbid type of thoughts, but rather thinking of the processes we must consider as we get to the old age part of our lives.

As I get to the point where I am only a few short years away from completing my eight decade, new rules keep appearing as we, Kim and I, endeavour to carry on with our lives.

When I say rules, I am grouping together policies, practices, processes, procedures, requirements, and so on. You get the idea.

For instance, many people have observed that, as they age, they “are not as active as they used to be”. Aging will do that. (For me, I never was as active as I used to be.) Maybe we move slower, aren’t as flexible, can’t leap a curb in a single bound.

Perhaps this means that, when flying, sitting in basic economy does not make for a pleasant flight, but rather we must fly premium economy or (gasp) business class. This will, of course, bring a financial penalty.

Another aspect of traveling is travel insurance, particularly the health part. Boy oh boy, as we age, do the insurance companies really see you coming in this area. Within the last year we went to Malaysia and area for five months. Our medical travel insurance quote was twice our airfare and we flew premium economy. Holy dingle, that was a bit of a shock to the system.

Two of the important ingredients for traveling are the time and the wherewithal (i.e. money). As is the case with many folks, when we age we find we often have more time, albeit affected by the slower movements mentioned above. Also, as is the case with many folks, when we age we find we often have more wherewithal, albeit affected by the expenses referenced above.

Keeping these things in mind, I always recommend to young people that whenever they get a chance to travel, think seriously about taking it.

Another aspect of aging is our health. Here of course we are all different, but we may have medications, living aids, mobility supports, bionic parts, and so on. All of these factor in to how we live our lives and what we can do.

After reading what I have written thus far I see that maybe I got a wee bit off track with the travel part and got back to more general with the health part.

Really my original intention was to talk more about what I see or feel happening with me. So let’s try to stay on course.

For instance, I cry more.

Not just from sadness, but from emotion. Usually it’s the eyes get blurry type of crying, and on occasion, the cheeks are wet. When I was younger, the wet eye thing only happened on rare occasions. Perhaps due to the “real men don’t cry” mantra. Who knows.

Over the past number of years I have been to quite a few funerals. Sad occasions and I go to pay my respects and support my friends who have lost a family member. (Note: the frequency of this happening increases with age.) However recently the waterworks occurred when I felt the raw emotion coming from a friend who had lost her much beloved father.

I like to watch The Voice on YouTube, primarily The Voice Australia or The Voice UK. Curiously, not the whole show, just the blind auditions. The reason for the audition, the result, and the interaction with the judges, can, at times, result in emotional blurry eyes.

There are other things as well, movies, public events, books, but I think you get the idea.

So I cry more, and I don’t consider it a bad thing.

I have become more isolated.

This is something that I tend to do to myself and is the result of several factors. Often I feel that I really don’t want to be a bother or that I don’t have anything of value to contribute. I may reach out a few times, and when not receiving a response for whatever reason, will not reach out again. I consider this to be part of life. These days folks are kept extremely busy with the events of their own lives.

There is one exception to this however. Young people. I work/volunteer with groups of young people within my Kiwanis activities, and to me, that is one of the most important things I am involved with, outside of helping my family members. I will be doing a separate blog post regarding my activities in this area.

As I continue pondering on the composition of this blog post, I run up against the confounding complexity of my own grey matter. I have a number of projects set for myself, mostly with a common thread, yet constantly am frustrated by my ongoing inability to actually do them.

Recently I had a contact with a person I had initially met almost twenty years ago. She had posted on LinkedIn that she was having issues being active in her projects, and was pledging to try and address them. This struck a chord, being similar to what is happening with me. I immediately reached out to her (the old misery loves company thing). I thanked her for the post, telling her how it struck a chord and I was dealing with similar feelings. She suggested that I also make a pledge, and that we could work supporting each other.

Her words are part of the reason for this blog post, perhaps functioning like the proverbial “kick in the ass”, to get me going. Also there was an effect on me when I encountered her “putting it out there”, reminding me that often things are more easily dealt with when they are spoken out loud, and not just thoughts in the mind. When we say something out loud, even to ourselves, we hear what is said and it has a different effect rather than simply thinking it.

So… I mentioned that I have some projects set for myself, and you are likely wondering what they may be.

Basically, there are three projects, and each overlaps to a degree on one or both of the others.

Since I was young I have had an interest in my family history, even writing an essay on it for a school assignment about 1965. (My father had kept a copy of it, however after his death in 1992 it was not located in his files.) My interest continued and when my mother passed in 2012, she left a number of family albums. In early 2014 I created an account with Ancestry and over the years it has grown substantially. In addition to my personal interest, I like to pass the information discovered to other family members, near and distant, particularly those interested in our family legacy and connections.

Also since I was young I have been a prolific taker of photographs, and over the years have accumulated tens of thousands of prints, slides, and digital photos, going back to the mid 1960s. Added to that are the family photos (and movies), a great many of which were taken by my father, and a large amount of extended family photos taken by my grand parents and uncle which were passed to me through my cousin Jennifer (who is also studying our family history). As you can imagine, the majority of the family history photos are basically prints. Then there are my prints and slides. This give me the project of digitizing the prints and slides, having started over a dozen years ago. Part of the reasoning for this project is I figure photos and videos aren’t all that useful sitting in a box in the garage. My aim is to share them, put them in a place where people can see them. For that I utilize my Flickr site, having photos anyone can see, and areas for friend or family viewing.

I turn seventy-seven next month and have retired a number of times throughout my life. I retired from the military in 1990 (first retirement), and from my work in law enforcement in 2019 (last retirement). There were three or four in-between. I have had an online presence since the late 1980s and am quite active on social media since 2007, particularly Twitter and Facebook. Over the years I created accounts on several internet platforms and in late 2019 decided to put them all together when I created the Wee Internet Empire, my retirement project, of which this blog is part. You can follow the link to see what else is involved. As a result of events in my life I have thoughts, experiences, travels, that I would like to recount and share on my various platforms with those who are interested.

So… these are the three projects of which I speak. After seeing them together you can see the overlaps.

Now we come to the crux of the matter. As I noted previously, for the past couple of years I have been frustrated and upset with myself that not even one of these projects as moved forward in any substantive fashion. I’m sure I could come up with various “life happens” type reasons, however I know that the real reason is buried somewhere between my ears. Yes, I have had sparks, however they were quickly extinguished (unlike the wildfires the world is suffering from currently).

What is next?

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
   “To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
   Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
   And whether pigs have wings.” – (Excerpt from The Walrus and the Carpenter by Lewis Carroll)

Yes, the time has come, encouraged by my friend Felicia’s post, for me to say out loud to all of you that I will move past this grey matter doldrum and get at these projects with renewed sense of purpose.

It has been a few days since I started this blog post, there has been much thinking, I’ve read it aloud a number of times (almost like practicing a speech), and now it’s time to press “Publish” and send it out to you, my loyal readers.

Thanks for reading, I hope you found it interesting. As always, I appreciate any feedback or thoughts you may have, your comments are welcome. I invite you to share with others and also subscribe to my Wee Internet Empire newsletter if you have not already done so.

Until next time. Be well, look after yourself, look after others.

Typing → Dictating – As I Age

Well, here I am, a considerable length of time since my last blog post. The reasons for the delay are many, varied, and I’m not even going to go into them. It’s just really too much to think about sometimes. Well, during this blog post I will not be dwelling on any of those reasons or touching base with any of them. Although on some of my other social media in the future there may be some appearing, but they’re not part of this blog post anyway.

Right now I’m in Malaysia and I have been for the last four months. It seems I almost have to confirm that by looking at the calendar. I don’t know if it’s a factor of age or what it is, but time just seems to be, wholly dingle, moving along and it’s really hard to keep up. Of course, when one is retired, the aspect of time has really shifted as well, it seems. In addition, while we are here, Kim is also functioning as retired, because she’s not working, and that puts it into a whole different area. I am sure that many of you have experienced this effect as well.

Something that is a factor of age is the process that we cannot seem to do now what we’ve been able to do for most of our lives and we get frustrated. For example, I have been a touch typist for basically all my life. Since high school. All during my military career and into several careers following, my touch typing was quick and accurate, no problem at all. My fingers went right where the keys are supposed to be and the words and letters came out. Everything was just great.

Now I am neither quick nor accurate. The frustration level becomes high and it seems I must resort to the hunt and peck method. I suspect that perhaps there is a conspiracy between my fingers and my laptop keyboard.

As a result, I am now moving to a new process, at least a new process for me. I am dictating to my computer what I want to say and hoping that the computer actually puts down the words that I use and that I can keep my brain in gear long enough to actually make sense.

I know that I am many sailings behind the majority of the world in doing this. But hopefully I can persevere, learn, get some skill, and maybe show once again that an old dog can learn new tricks.

I’m sure that it’s going to take a while, however. For many years I was pretty good at coordinating my thinking speed and my typing speed so that the words that I thought would flow off my fingers and I would form the paragraphs and whatever as I went along. Speaking to a computer is different than speaking to another person. As the computer does not speak back, so it’s not really a conversation. However, one of the rules, one of the basic rules of having a conversation, is to ensure that the brain is in gear before engaging the mouth.

I have had always in my mind for a considerable time the aspect of dictating to my computer. However, it was not really convenient for them to learn my voice and all of that stuff, the different applications that I saw and so I didn’t do it. However, just recently I was watching a video on TikTok and the person was talking about a feature that has been on Microsoft Windows for years and I was unaware of. So I thought I would try it out and basically you activate ability to dictate into a text box by using Windows “H”, the Windows key and the H key, and it works very well. I don’t have to do anything extra and I don’t have to do any training. Well, at least I don’t have to do any training for the computer. I have to do training for me, it seems.

Currently it’s not increasing the speed because I keep stopping and reading and thinking. However it is increasing the accuracy and taking the frustration level way, way down.

So I was working on my Wee Internet Empire newsletter and it popped into my head that maybe I should come over and just do a blog about this dictating to the computer thing. And so I’ve done that. Now I will wrap things up here, make sure it’s all good to go, and then I will head back over to the newsletter and get some more stuff done there. Because my loyal readers certainly deserve to get a newsletter. It’s been quite a while since they’ve had one.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. I do appreciate any comments or remarks that you may want to make or send along, any thoughts that you may have.

Why Blah?

I began this blog post sometime in the beginning of March. Since then I have gone back to it on several occasions, adding and editing each time. And I continued to ponder what was the issue. Was it a combination of all that I addressed, was there something additional, or was it something completely different.

I seem to have reached a conclusion in this matter and it will be included at the end of this blog post.

Meanwhile I have decided that I will publish this blog post, when finished, as I think that maybe I’m not the only person with experiences like this and perhaps it will help others.

It has now been over two months since my less than scintillating post to start 2025.

If that post gave you the impression that things were really kind of blah, then that would be an accurate impression. And honestly, not a hell of a lot has changed.

Okay now, why blah? Now I know this is a question that the “analysts” like to ask. The reason I know this is that they do. They are well meaning of course, however if my response falls short, which it usually does, then I am gifted with approaches and actions I should take to improve the blah, all well-meaning as well.

Now these thoughts might help, if I understood the blah factor better myself. However, at times in my addled brain they may tend to have a contrary effect.

So again, why blah?

Perhaps because it’s winter, with the accompanying lack of daylight, cold, and so on. I don’t really partake in winter activities and tend to be much more out and about in the non-white times of the year. Maybe, but some of the blah was around pre winter.

Perhaps because I’m retired, and Kim is still working two jobs. To be clear, this is something she wants to do, not because she has to, and I totally support her. We are looking ahead and reviewing plans for the time her retirement comes.

Perhaps because my hands don’t work as well as they used to. Certainly this is a factor. When I’m putting things together it seems I drop stuff more, which can be a bit frustrating, particularly when trying to find wee screws which have fallen. However, my greatest frustration regarding my hands is what I am doing at this moment. During my military career in communications one of the skills required was typing, be it on a typewriter, a teletype machine, or a computer. I was proud of my skills, achieving well over sixty words per minute with no mistakes. Today, I just made five mistakes in that last sentence (at far less than 60wpm).

Perhaps because my brain has issues, it forgets things at times. I have said, for years, and not totally tongue in cheek, that I suffer from part-timers, where I forget part of the time. Generally this has only been a source of “goldarn it” frustration, but on occasion it has caused a situation which had to be dealt with.

Perhaps because my body is not always happy about the way I’ve treated it over the years. And yes, I am honest about that, I’ve not always been the best caretaker. As well there are a couple of things which are hereditary. I was diagnosed with gout around thirty years ago, and although I’ve been on medications since then, it has contributed to arthritis in different parts of my body, leading to a hip replacement two years ago.

Perhaps because I’m old, speaking strictly about my age, my number of years on planet Earth. Maybe, but the aspect of my age is not really something which upsets me. Some will say that the hands, brain, and body reasons above are because of age. I disagree. Age may be a factor with them, however they are, to me, all separate issues, any one of which would matter less on it’s own.

And this is where this blog post has sat, for close to two months, as I have pondered, and pondered.

While pondering, I arrived at a form of realization that, although all of the above are, to a degree, factors, they are not primary reasons.

A bit of retrospect here. Over my lifetime I have always been interested in technology, particularly computers. My first computer was a Radio Shack MC-10 (which I still have), then the first bug free bios IBM PC, and as the story goes, the rest is history. Of course I was involved with bulletin boards, but the real push came with the development of social media, Facebook, Twitter and the like. For instance, I began blogging about 2007 or so.

When I retired, for the final time, in 2019, I began doing more online, and it morphed into the creation of my Wee Internet Empire, which became like a retirement project that I enjoyed doing. That was good, and I was quite enjoying puttering around and sharing my thoughts and memories.

For the past twenty-five years I have been in Kiwanis, both with my local club and having involvement up to the international level. Around the same time that I retired I began taking a lower Kiwanis profile yet maintaining my support.

A couple of years ago I was approached and asked to return to the club board. After consideration I did, as club secretary, feeling I could make a good contribution there and provide support for the new president. Upon my return I discovered much I could do and set right in, doing that and even more.

I put my Wee Internet Empire off to the side so as to focus on what I wanted to do and pressed forward.

Now, I realize more that I had done something that most parents have cautioned their children over the years – Be careful your eyes are not bigger than your stomach! Or… Don’t bite off more than you can chew!

My term as club secretary will be finishing in a few months and I truly feel that I have completed pretty much all that I set out to do and I believe that the club has done well and will continue to benefit from what we have accomplished together.

However, now I realize that I had moved away from a good comfort spot for myself. My retirement hobby has been essentially dormant for well over a year and when I try to do something with it I am way too easily distracted (hence this photo meme from the movie Up) and move to something else, most often Kiwanis related.

This, over the long term, caused me to be frustrated with myself, and, when combined with the other things I talked of earlier, led me at times to think poorly of myself and to almost withdraw generally into a state of complete blah.

Throughout it all Kim has been a rock, putting up with and supporting me, as she has done for nearly twenty-six years now. Otis (the cat) has done his part also, regularly kicking my ass to feed him and change his litter (which makes Kim happy as well).

As I noted in the intro, I often wondered if I should post this blog as I had it written.

I decided to go ahead, for two reasons. For people who have gone through similar feelings/events, perhaps this will provide some help or insight with their own thoughts. For myself, putting things into words is often better suited for understanding of oneself.

So what does the future hold? Hmm… If I do it right, more good input for future blog posts!

In reality, there are lifestyle changes on the horizon, and we are planning together as to what they may be. As we move forward in our lives I, through my Wee Internet Empire, will endeavour to bring you along also.

As always, thank you for reading and allowing me to share my thoughts and experiences with you. Any comments that you may have are always welcome.

A New Calendar Year Begins

It is January 1st, a new calendar year has begun, and tradition has it that people all over the world are posting about the year past and their visions for the coming year. It seems that this is almost an obligatory activity in which to indulge.

As a year ends it is considered to be a time of reflection. For that reason I tend to avoid mirrors.

The beginning of the year is considered to be a re-start on life, however for this to happen the battery must have sufficient charge.

For me, to start the year, I arose at 0530, got dressed, headed to the loo for the morning business, accompanied by Otis, who ensures the area to be safe (he is, after all, a vicious guard cat). Then, it was time to put in my teeth, weigh myself (never you mind), head into my office, look out the window (only a dusting of snow and -14C), turn on the desk light and head to the kitchen.

In the kitchen the priority was to feed Otis and make my coffee (Malaysian of course) and put away the clean dishes before heading back to my office. Once there I tested my blood sugar level (it’s okay), had my pills (ten of them) and opened up my computer.

On my computer I checked my emails (most were deleted upon reading), looked at the calendar for significant activities, checked Facebook for birthdays, marketplace and posts of interest (on several pages that I administer).

Once that was done, I opened WordPress and decided to compose this blog post.

What a way to start the new year!

Except…

Other than composing this blog post, that is the description of pretty much every morning (with minor changes when Kim is up getting ready for work on weekdays).

Now if you were expecting a disertation on my wide experiences of the past year and my lofty expections of the year to come, like so many others around the world, you will be happy to know that you need not suffer though one.

Rather, you are now privy to the way I start a new year every day.

As a result this blog post is likely not highly informative or interesting, but it is the first post I’ve done in months so an achievement has been reached.

Regardless of whether it’s the end of an old year, or the beginning of a new year, or just a regular day in the life, it is my wish that you are all well and moving to the future.

Until next time, take care of yourself and look out for others.

2019 – Almost Done

Well, here we are, approaching the beginning of 2020 and as often happens, folks say it is time for reflection and review of the soon to end year.

2019 has been an interesting year for me. It’s the first year I have been officially retired and unemployed. During the year I marked my 70th birthday, spent two months in Malaysia, met the Governor General of Canada, logged about 7000km on motorcycles, participated in Kiwanis activities in two countries, didn’t win the lottery, and lost several good friends.

On the family side of things, Kim and I celebrated twenty years of marriage, son Colin became engaged to Amy, daughter Anita and her husband Aaron had their 10th anniversary, daughter Jaclyn and son Colin both had their 40th birthdays, oldest grandchild Valen became eighteen, Kim’s brother Philip passed away in November and her brother Jimmy overcame a serious health issue about the same time.

Overall though, it was my year, the year that I experienced, having both highs and lows.

Losing friends is a difficult part of our existance, a part which is never easy. This year I lost five good friends, one being family, and the latest happened while I was developing this post. Each person was very special in their own way, and each is an important part of my year.

Just after mid January I headed off to Malaysia for two months. My home base is Melaka and I traveled several times to Johor Bahru and Kuala Lumpur. The intercity bus service was excellent and travel was quite comfortable. I also got some wind therapy in Melaka by putting in almost 1000 km on a rented scooter. Visiting with family and friends, along with a number of Kiwanis functions, kept me quite busy most of the time. Oh, and as always, I thoroughly enjoyed the food. Missing the coldest February and March to hit Edmonton in years was a bonus.

Shortly after my return to Canada, son Colin and his lady, Amy, came to visit from “Jolly Old”. Not only did he celebrate his birthday during the visit, he proposed to Amy while spending time in Kananaskis Country (she said yes). A short time later it was back to England for them. Quite a successful visit for sure.

Less than two weeks later, Kim and I were off to Ottawa for a very special occasion. I was to be presented with the Sovereign’s Medal for Volunteers by Her Excellency Governor General Julie Payette. It was a great honour as well as an amazing event.

After our return to Edmonton, lo and behold, it was summer. Our local Veterans UN/NATO Canada crews put on a successful fundraising event at the Kipnes Centre for Veterans. Shortly after Kim and I celebrated our 20th anniversary, and then came the Kiwanis Club of South Edmonton Annual Summer Picnic. I helped provide communications for the annual Edmonton Heritage Festival, and a week later we were attending the Kiwanis Western Canada District Convention. During all this, I managed to get in about 6000 km on my motorcycle, albeit mostly local around Edmonton.

Late September saw a number of our Veterans Crew head down to Red Deer to honour one of our members, Terry Turner, who had passed away in the spring. We sponsored a flag and plaque in his memory for the annual Flags of Remembrance ceremony. The flags and plaques were on display for two months (until Remembrance Day). When they were taken down, there was another ceremony where they were presented back to the sponsors or family. Kim and I took Terry’s wife Wendy to Red Deer and she received his flag and plaque.

Wrapping up the last quarter of the year were a number of Kiwanis activities along with our Veterans Group Remembrance Day ceremonies.

Well, there you go, a bit of an overview of my year. A sampling, as it were. There were, of course, many more happenings and events, however those included here are key memory items for me.

In a few days, a new year of happenings, events, and memories will commence. Bring it on 2020, lets see what you’ve got.