Memories | Richard's Ramblings

Why Blah?

I began this blog post sometime in the beginning of March. Since then I have gone back to it on several occasions, adding and editing each time. And I continued to ponder what was the issue. Was it a combination of all that I addressed, was there something additional, or was it something completely different.

I seem to have reached a conclusion in this matter and it will be included at the end of this blog post.

Meanwhile I have decided that I will publish this blog post, when finished, as I think that maybe I’m not the only person with experiences like this and perhaps it will help others.

It has now been over two months since my less than scintillating post to start 2025.

If that post gave you the impression that things were really kind of blah, then that would be an accurate impression. And honestly, not a hell of a lot has changed.

Okay now, why blah? Now I know this is a question that the “analysts” like to ask. The reason I know this is that they do. They are well meaning of course, however if my response falls short, which it usually does, then I am gifted with approaches and actions I should take to improve the blah, all well-meaning as well.

Now these thoughts might help, if I understood the blah factor better myself. However, at times in my addled brain they may tend to have a contrary effect.

So again, why blah?

Perhaps because it’s winter, with the accompanying lack of daylight, cold, and so on. I don’t really partake in winter activities and tend to be much more out and about in the non-white times of the year. Maybe, but some of the blah was around pre winter.

Perhaps because I’m retired, and Kim is still working two jobs. To be clear, this is something she wants to do, not because she has to, and I totally support her. We are looking ahead and reviewing plans for the time her retirement comes.

Perhaps because my hands don’t work as well as they used to. Certainly this is a factor. When I’m putting things together it seems I drop stuff more, which can be a bit frustrating, particularly when trying to find wee screws which have fallen. However, my greatest frustration regarding my hands is what I am doing at this moment. During my military career in communications one of the skills required was typing, be it on a typewriter, a teletype machine, or a computer. I was proud of my skills, achieving well over sixty words per minute with no mistakes. Today, I just made five mistakes in that last sentence (at far less than 60wpm).

Perhaps because my brain has issues, it forgets things at times. I have said, for years, and not totally tongue in cheek, that I suffer from part-timers, where I forget part of the time. Generally this has only been a source of “goldarn it” frustration, but on occasion it has caused a situation which had to be dealt with.

Perhaps because my body is not always happy about the way I’ve treated it over the years. And yes, I am honest about that, I’ve not always been the best caretaker. As well there are a couple of things which are hereditary. I was diagnosed with gout around thirty years ago, and although I’ve been on medications since then, it has contributed to arthritis in different parts of my body, leading to a hip replacement two years ago.

Perhaps because I’m old, speaking strictly about my age, my number of years on planet Earth. Maybe, but the aspect of my age is not really something which upsets me. Some will say that the hands, brain, and body reasons above are because of age. I disagree. Age may be a factor with them, however they are, to me, all separate issues, any one of which would matter less on it’s own.

And this is where this blog post has sat, for close to two months, as I have pondered, and pondered.

While pondering, I arrived at a form of realization that, although all of the above are, to a degree, factors, they are not primary reasons.

A bit of retrospect here. Over my lifetime I have always been interested in technology, particularly computers. My first computer was a Radio Shack MC-10 (which I still have), then the first bug free bios IBM PC, and as the story goes, the rest is history. Of course I was involved with bulletin boards, but the real push came with the development of social media, Facebook, Twitter and the like. For instance, I began blogging about 2007 or so.

When I retired, for the final time, in 2019, I began doing more online, and it morphed into the creation of my Wee Internet Empire, which became like a retirement project that I enjoyed doing. That was good, and I was quite enjoying puttering around and sharing my thoughts and memories.

For the past twenty-five years I have been in Kiwanis, both with my local club and having involvement up to the international level. Around the same time that I retired I began taking a lower Kiwanis profile yet maintaining my support.

A couple of years ago I was approached and asked to return to the club board. After consideration I did, as club secretary, feeling I could make a good contribution there and provide support for the new president. Upon my return I discovered much I could do and set right in, doing that and even more.

I put my Wee Internet Empire off to the side so as to focus on what I wanted to do and pressed forward.

Now, I realize more that I had done something that most parents have cautioned their children over the years – Be careful your eyes are not bigger than your stomach! Or… Don’t bite off more than you can chew!

My term as club secretary will be finishing in a few months and I truly feel that I have completed pretty much all that I set out to do and I believe that the club has done well and will continue to benefit from what we have accomplished together.

However, now I realize that I had moved away from a good comfort spot for myself. My retirement hobby has been essentially dormant for well over a year and when I try to do something with it I am way too easily distracted (hence this photo meme from the movie Up) and move to something else, most often Kiwanis related.

This, over the long term, caused me to be frustrated with myself, and, when combined with the other things I talked of earlier, led me at times to think poorly of myself and to almost withdraw generally into a state of complete blah.

Throughout it all Kim has been a rock, putting up with and supporting me, as she has done for nearly twenty-six years now. Otis (the cat) has done his part also, regularly kicking my ass to feed him and change his litter (which makes Kim happy as well).

As I noted in the intro, I often wondered if I should post this blog as I had it written.

I decided to go ahead, for two reasons. For people who have gone through similar feelings/events, perhaps this will provide some help or insight with their own thoughts. For myself, putting things into words is often better suited for understanding of oneself.

So what does the future hold? Hmm… If I do it right, more good input for future blog posts!

In reality, there are lifestyle changes on the horizon, and we are planning together as to what they may be. As we move forward in our lives I, through my Wee Internet Empire, will endeavour to bring you along also.

As always, thank you for reading and allowing me to share my thoughts and experiences with you. Any comments that you may have are always welcome.

Kiwanis – Making My Heart Feel Good

For most of this century, thus far, I have been a member of Kiwanis.

Upon reading that, some will nod their head and smile knowingly. Others will cock their head to the side with a puzzled look on their face. You see, not everyone knows what “Kiwanis” is.

Put simply, “Kiwanis is all about kids”. That’s what I respond when asked, and even when not asked, that’s what I tell people.

Kiwanis is an international, community based, organization comprised of people who care about children and youths. In many ways we consider ourselves to be a family, a family comprised of close to 450,000 members around the world.

The mission statement for Kiwanis International is: Kiwanis is a global organization of volunteers dedicated to improving the world one child and one community at a time. The most commonly used hashtag is: #KidsNeedKiwanis.

I became a member of the Kiwanis Club of South Edmonton in 2001, and over the years have filled a number of positions within the club, such as Secretary, Webmaster and President. I have also been Division Six Lieutenent Governor, and Western Canada District Governor.

Also, my wife Kim has been a member of our club since 2004. As some of you may know, Kim and I consider Malacca, Malaysia, to be our second home, and both of us are involved with Kiwanis Malaysia District, being members there as well for a number of years.

Now, my intent with this blog post is not to tell you all about Kiwanis, although I do strongly suggest you read more about this fine organization by clicking on the links above. Rather I will be sharing a few of my Kiwanis experiences to try and explain how and why Kiwanis means so much to Kim and I.

I should let you know that I do not “grade” my Kiwanis experiences as they are all equally special to me. As well, the time frames make no difference. So, in no particular order, here we go.

Back in the late 1950’s our club decided to develop some lakefront property west of Edmonton into a camp for children with disabilities. In 1960 Camp Health, Hope & Happiness (Camp HeHoHa) opened and it has grown larger and stronger since. Along with fellow club members and others, I have visited the camp regularly for many years. While there we get to witness how powerful the camp experience is for those children attending. They feel free because all those around them have some form of disability as well.

It was on one of my visits that I had, what we often call, a “Kiwanis moment”. At the camp is a climbing wall, about twenty metres high, and it gets quite a bit of use from the campers. On this day, I watched a young disabled child climb the wall, by herself, all the way to the top. You can tell by the look on her face after she came down what it meant to her. While watching her I was thinking that our Kiwanis Club made it possible for her being able to be there and climb that wall. I still marvel at that to this day, and it makes me feel very proud.

While in Malaysia, when a person says Kiwanis, people often think of Down Syndrome, and when people mention Down Syndrome, folks often think of Kiwanis. In 1989 the Kiwanis Club of Kuala Lumpur decided there should be support for children with Down Syndrome. From that came the Kiwanis Down Syndrome Foundation and five Kiwanis Down Syndrome Centres around the country. Kim and I have been often to the KDSC in Kuala Lumpur and frequently volunteer at the KDSC in Melaka, where we live while in Malaysia.

One of the activities at the KDSC Melaka is their Annual Sports Day, with a great many activities arranged for the children to take part in. The children, parents and Kiwanians, all have great fun and laughter together.

After the games were over, it was time to eat and then time for prizes. There were awards for all participants as these games were not for serious competition, but for fun and the joyous enjoyment of doing things together. As I was a “distinguished visitor from Canada”, being Kiwanis Western Canada Governor at the time, I was asked to present some of the prizes to the children. This I was more than happy to do. And it paid me big time. While I was presenting a prize to the young lady in the photo she looked at me. It is difficult for me to describe how I felt at that instant, but every time I tell people about it I cry, as I’m doing now while typing this. To this day I say thank goodness Kim was taking many photos and happened to catch that exact moment.

The third moment I will share today is a program that our club has had for a very long time. I was of course introduced to it as a club member.

Certainly a great many folks are familiar with Reading Week, where local celebraties and others will go to schools and read to the students there. This usually happens towards the end of September. The program offered by our club (and other clubs), is similar however is an ongoing event, several times a year. It is called “Reading Is Fundamental”. Our club member would go to an inner city daycare and not only read to the children, but give the each child a book, including the one that was read to them. For many of the children it may be the first book they have ever had, and at times the only book that they might get. My parents made sure that I grew up reading books, for which I am thankful. Knowing that our presence at the inner city daycare could make a difference in a child’s life is indeed a good feeling. After the reading there would be a healthy snack for all.

Now these are but three of the aspects of Kiwanis, however I hope they give you an idea of why Kiwanis means so much to those who have been lucky enough to become members.

Doing things for the children of the world, whether they be in our own communities, or on the other side of the globe is both necessary and rewarding. Click the links above, read more, check out the Kiwanis Club in your area, they’d welcome your questions and your membership. The emotional awards can be great.

Thanks for joining me today, I hope you enjoyed my blog post. Your feedback is alway welcome and appreciated. Until next time, look after yourself and look out for others.

Can We Just Talk – Like We Used To

Today, I’m doing a little reminiscing about years gone by.

Back in the early days of Twitter, now “X”, Edmonton was known as a hotspot for activity. We were known, not only locally, but much more widely, as one of the most active Twitter areas in the world.

Back in those days it was indeed a “social” network, as we would actually talk to each other, share thoughts and ideas. There was essentially no animosity. We would of course at times disagree, however that would usually result in a discussion, and often there would be a resolution of the matter.

Even better than that however, we would meet. Yes, meet. Face to face. We would have a “Tweet-Up”, where we would get together and chat, and in so many cases, become friends.

Some tweet-ups were planned, but many were spontaneous. Someone would tweet that they would be at such-and-such mall food court for a while, giving a time. Lo and behold, while they were there someone would stop by and join them for bit. This actually happened quite often. Planned tweet-ups were usually in the evenings and would be more of a social gathering. At times, we would gather to benefit some organization, such as having a mini fundraiser.

It was essentially through Twitter, and these Tweet-ups, that I got to know so many people in Edmonton, a large number of whom I remain in touch with to this day. They were truly great times.

My reminiscing today comes as I am making a small effort to perhaps recreate some of those times by starting what I’m calling a “Chat-Up”, on a weekly basis. As I write this, I’m sitting at the designated location for my second Chat-up, waiting to see who might drop by. The first time I did it there was one person who dropped by.

After posting the event on social media I did get several responses, however to this point only from those who said sorry but they were out of town or unable to come due to work, but they liked the idea and would try next time. But it’s a start. You know, the “Rome wasn’t built in a day” concept.

My thinking is, with all the crap that seems to be going on in our world these days, the odd get-together for plain and simple friendly conversation would be a good thing. I really miss hearing people actually discuss something without the fear that fisticuffs would transpire. I do have hope.

Here I am, home now. It was a quiet time at Koffee Cafe again this morning. However I do like the owners there and the atmosphere is friendly. Have been going there well over ten years.

I will post the “Chat-Up” time and place again for next week and see what happens. Regardless it’s a nice place to have Friday morning tea.

What are your thoughts? Do you still meet for chat in person, or does that even appeal to you these days?

For me, I like to keep in contact with as many people as possible. My choices are, in order of preference:

In person
By video
By phone
By messaging

Would you like to chat with me, in person or otherwise? You can find out more about me by visiting my Wee Internet Empire and subscribing to my Old Guy, New Tricks newsletter.

Thanks for reading, I do appreciate your support. Until next time, look after yourself, and watch out for others.

My Name I Ponder

Yesterday I read an interesting post by Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50, a fellow blogger. Her post, entitled Name Game, was asking about the name one was given at birth and the name one goes by now.

That got me thinking of my own name and its transitions.

At my birth I was given the first names Richard Linnaeus. Richard having a long tradition on my paternal side and Linnaeus being my maternal grandfather’s name.

Up until I began school I was known as Linne, short form for Linnaeus. Once in school I was often teased, even bullied, for having a “girl’s” name, so I started using Richard, which, at some point in the process became Rick. That stayed with me through high school, technical school, university and into the military.

During my military career I began using Richard more and, depending on the activity I was involved in, would answer to either Richard or Rick. This carried on after my military retirement into my business activities. Eventually Rick all but disappeared, and for at least the last 20-25 years I have gone by Richard.

Now comes the crux of the thinking brought forward by the blog post.

Over the years, many years, I have often mulled in my mind about reverting my name to Linne. I must say that it has bothered me at times that I gave in to the teasers and bullies (these are similar but have different processes). I have determined that my grandfather went his entire life known as Linne to many, and he was a highly successful, accomplished person, becoming very well known in Great Britain.

During my life I have learned much about names, how important they are to us, in meaning, in family, and in history.

Even though I’m blogging about it, my situation is but a very small scale issue in the grand scheme of things.

However, there are many people who have had others literally rename them. People who are born here, or come to Canada from another country will be “renamed” by acquaintences, co-workers or employers, who, for one reason or another, don’t (or won’t) make the effort to say the person’s name properly. As a result they are given a “Canadian” name that is easy to say and/or spell. I need not provide any examples because I’m sure that each of my readers will know of someone in that situation.

So, getting back to my situation, I have often thought I should change back, and then I hesitate, wondering about any issues it would create. Even now, as I type this, I have stopped to ponder. If I change, how would I do it, how much would I change. Would I leave all the “official stuff”, passport, drivers licence, healthcare, and so on, the same (actually for most no change would be necessary). Probably just change the day-to-day usage, social media, that type of thing.

It is indeed something to ponder. What will I do? What would others think? What do my readers think? Feel free to let me know.

Regardless, life goes on. Be assured that I will continue to provide blogs, podcasts and more, through my Wee Internet Empire, irrespective of what name I choose to call myself.

Until next time. Take good care of yourself, and look out for others.

Am I Now The Bionic Man?

Today, I was putzing around with my “Wee Internet Empire” as I figured it had been dormant for a while. It was not until I checked my last newsletter that I realized that it was posted April 25, two days before my surgery. Seeing as how it’s now more than a month and a half later, I see how delinquent I have been.

Now I have done a few video updates after my surgery, however they were not shared with my entire readership, just those on YouTube, Tik Tok, and Facebook. These videos, this blog post, and other material will go out in my next newsletter, scheduled for the next day or so.

Having said all that, I thought I would do this blog post and talk a bit about my surgery as a number of you have expressed interest.

In early 2020, after several years of increasing arthritic pain, I requested to be placed on the waiting list for total hip replacement surgery. I had been told by a number of folks that I should have done it sooner, however I can be a stubborn type and kept putting it off. Now I say, yes people, you were right, I was wrong. I’m sure I’m not the first who has done that, nor am I likely to be the last. So readers, should you get into this situation, listen to the folks when they offer advice, at least some of the time.

So, back to the story. I was put on the list and then the wait began. Not without hiccups though.

First came Covid. I don’t need to talk about that, we all know that it threw the health system into a real kerfuffle. I have nothing but good to say about the healthcare workers who all worked their asses off trying to do their best for us all. I thank them all for their service. I’m not going to get into any discussion about the actual healthcare system however.

Anyway, in November 2021 I received a call that I’d been scheduled for surgery in mid December.

Alas, just before that call a new issue had raised its head. I had developed some venous skin ulcers on my legs as a result of poor blood circulation. Due to the risk of infection, the surgery was cancelled.

Seening as how we were still dealing with Covid, treatment of my legs started very slowly, continuing on to the fall of 2022. Once again I have appreciation and thanks to the healthcare workers who dealt with my legs, both with clinic care and home care. All was completed and I am now wearing compression stockings to help ensure good leg blood circulation. These will be worn daily for the foreseeable future, on in the morning, off in the evening. Kim is doing it currently, with other arrangements needing to be made when she is no longer able to continue.

Great stuff… legs in order, now back to waiting. Towards the end of the year I was told that they were looking for around April 2023. Early this year came the word for April 27. Kim and I decided to tell “nobody nothing” until I had successfully completed all the pre-surgery tests. All went well and April 27 it was.

The time had come. Was I nervous? Not really, however I was somewhat apprehensive as I really didn’t have a clear picture of what the procedure was. Oh, I had received many handouts, brouchures, watched video, been poked, prodded, x-rayed, lungs and breathing tested, heart tested (multiple times), dental examined (lots of work done there), lab tested, told what to do (prior to and after surgery), the whole nine yards. My documentation prep for surgery probably became a large file all told.

But… I did not really know what I would experience when I entered the doors of the Orthopaedic Surgery Centre by the Royal Alexandra Hospital.

Kim and sister-in-law Sarah took me there, in the waiting room with me until I got called in. In pre-surgery I underwent a number of tests, was asked a number of questions and chatted a bit with the nurse until he moved on to the next person. Then I waited until it was my turn to be wheeled down to the operating room. There I was moved over to a table, introduced to a number of physicians (none of whom I can remember other than my surgeon). I was told to bend forward, touch my head to my knees and that I would feel a wee poke in the back. They asked how it was, I said fine, and two hours later I started to wake up.

Slowly waking up in the recovery room I could see somebody’s feet. I knew they weren’t mine because they didn’t move with I wiggled my toes. Ah, it seems there was a reason for that. I had no feeling from just below my ribs down.

While in the recovery room, hooked up to all the obligatory machines, there was some poking and prodding, checking things out, and some chit chat. Seems I was doing what I should so they transferred me to my place of residence for the next day or so.

Once in my room I was able to relax, and was constantly monitored. Slowly I had feeling come back to my legs, being able to start wiggling my toes after a few hours. Kim came to visit, taking a few photos, one of which I share here.

Once again, I have nothing but compliments for the medical folks who looked after me. They ensured I was comfortable, managed my pain very well, asked the right questions and answered any that I had. Before the end of the day they had me out of the bed walking out to the hallway and back (with my crutches), making sure that all movements were good.

They tried to help me sleep, however I have a history of not sleeping well the first night in a new bed and it was no different here.

The next morning, they had me up, walking (again with crutches) to the stretcher in the hall to be taken to x-ray then from the stretcher to the x-ray table. Same procedure going back to the room. Then the surgeon came in, said he was happy and all was looking fine. A bit later had a visit from the physio lady. She came in and said, okay, grab your crutches and let’s go for a walk. Off down the hall we went for training on how to do stairs, get into a tub and so on. She was pleased on how I did, so I only had to do it three or four times.

Having satisfied all the criteria, Kim came to pick me up and home we went, complete with serveral medical prescriptions, including a heavy duty painkiller should it be necessary. Fortunately for me, it was not needed all that much and consequently was utilized quite sparingly over the following weeks.

Basically the next six weeks were spent mainly on one level of our condo, using my handy dandy walker. At night it was up to the bedroom with the crutches. Kim was patiently my chauffeur for doctor appointments and after the first couple of weeks we were able to go for dim sum and a couple of special events related to Kiwanis or our veterans group, crutching away.

As I mentioned earlier, I did some video update after the surgery, so feel free to hop over to my YouTube channel and have a boo.

Kim loves to take photos of things and events like this so here are four that she took.

The first one was during a dressing change on April 02.

The second was staple removal day, April 10.

Next one is April 16, healing well.

Final is April 28, all is looking great. Doctors, and patient, happy.

Thought I’d wrap up with an xray of my new hip. I thought it was pretty cool. The main part is titanium. Does that make me the Bionic Man?

From the very beginning I recorded, for myself, the names of all who worked to take care of me. Those in the wound clinic, those making home care visits, those in the surgeons office, and those in the surgery centre. I do maintain contact with a few of them but will not share their names. They know who they are and how much I appreciate each and every one of them. I made sure that I told them at every opportunity.

Thanks for reading and letting me share with you.

Until next time, be well, take care of yourself and look after those around you.

Same Thing + Different Circumstances = Different Feelings

After having a seemingly empty brain with my social media “Wee Internet Empire” since just prior to my surgery three weeks ago, over the last couple of days I found myself to be quite reflective. Ergo, a blog post appears.

During the past three years I have gone through several phases of doing the same thing, however each phase was for a different reason.

The same thing that I have been doing is staying home, keeping to myself, doing little or nothing with others and even, at times, doing little outside my home office, or at times, in my home office as well, by myself.

So… the first circumstance is probably the most obvious one to most of you. Covid, the pandemic, whatever you want to call it.

Upon returning early in March 2020 from our trip to Malaysia we went immediately into lock-down, or was it locked-in, or perhaps locked-up. Regardless, the aspect of any form of personal contact with others, even family not in the same domicile ceased to exist, we all became persona non grata, pariahs, potential carriers to be avoided or even shunned.

Sure, I could leave the house, but couldn’t go anywhere there were people. It seems that effectively narrowed it down. As the summer weather arrived I would go for the occasional solo motorcycle ride to nowhere, meaning I would ride out in some direction for a while, then turn around and head home. Later on I was actually able to ride with a few fellow veterans. On these rides we would usually remain on our bikes when stopped, maintaining a two metre spacing between us.

For the first year, the weather was pretty agreeable and I was able to ride from about mid May until December. Yes, my last ride of the year was 06 Dec.

Winter then put a kibosh on things, particularly as many restaurants were shut down and the usual family Christmas was by phone.

With the weather being accommodating, I was back on the bike by mid-March, with the summer becoming more or less a repeat of the previous year. Then the bike developed a serious ailment and was at the bike doctor for two months.

It was about this time that the first circumstance was winding down. Covid was still present, however generally society had adapted and some semblance of routine was beginning to emerge.

For me however, I was preparing to enter my second circumstance.

My hip was now bothering me more and there were often times when I would not even attempt to ride my bike as it was painful to do so. This resulted in the bike going into hibernation in September and remaining there until April of the following year, 2022. After that for the next few months, outings did occur, however were very sporadic and the bike was returned to hibernation in September.

At the same time, a combination of factors caused me to be in a very bad head space. On the medical side, I was going through some problems with my lower legs resulting in hospital visits and regular home care visits, all of which had placed my hip surgery on indefinite hold. Mentally, the aspect of not being able to physically do a variety of things I had been doing all my life, combined with the feeling of being a burden with others having to do things I should be doing, had me basically isolating myself at home and partaking in few activities. Interestingly, I knew that these events were part of life, and that I shouldn’t be having negative thoughts about what I was going through. The problem was, knowing that, but not doing that, made things worse as I would beat myself up for being such a dolt, and, as most of you probably know, nobody can beat me up any better than I can.

Anyway, that was basically the second circumstance.

The third circumstance is happening now, as I write this blog post.

On 27 April I finally went in for my total hip replacement surgery. The surgery was successful, I came home the next day, my recovery started, and at this writing (23 days later) is progressing very well. So I am required to use my crutches and walker, exercise and am instructed not to drive for about six weeks. As a result I am dependent upon Kim to drive me to appointments or any other outings, requiring her to take time off work or change her work schedule, to do so. This is something I try to avoid doing, so I am home most of the time with Otis the cat.

This was the point where I became reflective about the three times l was more or less isolated at home, each for different reasons. As an aside, while reflecting on this I was reminded of a 1963 hit song (Alone) In My Room by Willie & the Walkers, a popular Edmonton group that I enjoyed while growing up.

So… three times I did the same thing, staying at home for an extended period of time. Each time was the result of a different set of circumstances. The first time due to the Covid pandemic, second due to my mental state, and the third due to my surgery. Not only was there three sets of circumstances, I realized that there were three completely different sets of feelings.

Cue the feelings comparisons.

Circumstance Number 1 (Covid) – During the pandemic, collectively we had a most serious situation, and staying home was one of the ways that I could support addressing this situation. I wasn’t fussy about it, however I did feel it was something that could help. I was also introduced to the previously unknown term “Zoom Call”. Basically my feeling was, this is not great but it is necessary, so let’s deal with it.

Circumstance Number 2 (Head Space) – During this period I would have a variety of feelings. I would have periods of low self-confidence, low self-esteem and even low self-worth. I would have periods of self-pity, but more often I would be mad and frustrated because I felt I was causing a burden to Kim and others around me as they had to do extra work and I felt I could not do activities which I considered it was my responsibility to do.

Circumstance Number 3 (Post Surgery) – Physically after the surgery I’m feeling fine, I like not having any pain, I feel my mobility getting better all the time. I know that I need to follow the post-surgery instructions, and pretty much am doing so. So what are my basic feelings? I’m bored and lonely. Everything is in place for me to be out and about whenever and wherever I would like except for that one thing, post-surgery instructions.

So how do these three sets of feelings compare.

I much prefer Circumstance 3, as I know the future is good and I just need to be patient.

Circumstance 1 was not a fun time, however it was something shared between millions of people and, in my view, was most necessary. Let’s work on not have to do something like that again.

Circumstance 2 was an unpleasant time. I know it’s also a type of time that many people go through, in some form or other. To let people know they are not alone in that regard was one of the reasons for writing this blog post in the first place, and sharing some of my not so happy feelings. Thank goodness Kim was able to deal with my mood swings, it was difficult for her for sure but I’m blessed that she stuck with me.

Well, there you have it. A few snippets of my life over the past three years. Of course I have not done “chapter and verse” of absolutely all that transpired. I just wanted to pass along some basic circumstances and the feelings associated with them.

Thanks for reading. Catch next time. Please take care of yourself and look out of others.

Community Service Recognition

Interestingly, Facebook and various photo software applications have a feature which gives one memories of posts or photos from the past.

I’m sure that many of you have discovered, as have I, that ofttimes these are not only memories, but emotions as well.

Today, up popped some photos of a trip that Kim and I made to Ottawa in 2019. We were there to meet with Canada’s Governor General who presented me with the Sovereign’s Medal for Volunteers.

It was an honour to both meet the Governor General, and to receive the medal.

Today I was caused to reflect back on a number of things, one being my community involvement over the years, beginning in my youth.

I have been involved across Canada, wanting to serve the community. This was a valuable lesson learned from my parents as both Mum and Dad were very active throughout my growing up, regardless of how our family circumstances were.

I served, and continue to serve, to the benefit of the community, not to gain recognition. In doing so though, it seems I have been recognized on a number of occasions.

Today, while reflecting, I have decided to share with you, four of the recognitions which meant a great deal to me. I hope to talk about other aspects of community service in future blog posts or podcasts.

In June of 2002, I was inducted as a Serving Brother into the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem, known as the Order of St John. The presentation was done in the Alberta Legislature by The Honourable Lois E Hole, Lieutenant Governor of Alberta.

In October of 2005, I was awarded the Alberta Centennial Medal by The Honourable Norman L Kwong, Lieutenant Governor of Alberta.

In April 2019, I received the Sovereign’s Medal for Volunteers. The presentation was done at Rideau Hall in Ottawa by The Right Honourable Julie Payette, Governor General of Canada.

In January 2023, I received the Queen Elizabeth Platinum Jubilee Medal from Margaret Day, Kiwanis Western Canada District Division Six Lieutenant Governor.

I am honoured to receive these recognitions, however I am very proud of the community work that I, along with others, have done and the people we have helped in some way to make their lives better. That is the real reward.

Thanks for reading. Catch you next time.

Take care of yourself and look out for others.

This Retirement Thing

Today I have been thinking.

Now, to some who know me, that would be considered a dangerous thing.

Perhaps not, today anyway. However it has been an interesting thing for me. A bit interesting that is. You see, it’s a holiday Monday, here in Alberta it’s called Family Day.

One might imagine that due to the day, I would be thinking about family, and I did a little, however my main thinking has been about my retirement, and some of the factors which have been affecting it.

It is no surprise that topping the list has been COVID. I use capital letters here because that was the way it arrived. Now it has become more like #@&%*$ Covid.

For millions of people, the ramifications of Covid threw the proverbial monkey wrench into the system. My thinking today is more limited to retired folks, because I are one.

Back in late 2018 I retired for the final time, and yes, I even had plans. More than just plans, they were being put into practice.

For a good portion of the winter I would be in Malaysia, based at our apartment, spending time with family, friends and just doing some traveling around. My wife Kim would join me for part of the time as she was still working. The late spring, summer and early autumn would involve quite a bit of time on my motorcycle, going on rides with mates and fellow veterans, or just by myself touring around Alberta. On the weekends my wife and I would relax and travel around a bit, as well as being involved in weekend motorcycle and other community events.

For 2019 most went according to plan. I spent three months in Malaysia, Kim with me for a month. Summer saw some 6000 kilometres put on the bike and we were involved in various activities most every weekend. Right up to the end of the year we took part in both Kiwanis and veterans events. Life was doing okay.

2020 started out quite well, however there seemed to be ominous rumblings. Mid February Kim and I were off to Malaysia for six weeks. For the first three weeks we were joined by our daughter and her husband from Edmonton. For me this was a big event as she would meet her two sisters in Malaysia, in person for the very first time. (If you have been following my blog posts over the years you’ll know we have a blended family.)

After we arrived, the ominous rumblings increased, and people started talking about this Covid thing. The first three weeks went well, daughter and her husband headed home, and the rumblings increased. After another week they were more than rumblings and we reluctantly made the decision to err on the side of caution and headed back to Edmonton ten days earlier than planned.

Turns out, it was a good decision, as air traffic was essentially shut down shortly after we got home. We had to do our two week quarantine and then Kim was laid off as her workplace was shut down (only for about three months it turned out).

I’m sure that everyone is pretty familiar with what followed for the remainder of 2020 and basically all of 2021, so I’ll just talk about how this affected the retirement thing.

Now is a good time to touch on another factor affecting retirement, that being my health. I have always had a pretty robust immune system, however I have had some mobility issues, particularly in the last ten years. I was diagnosed with a bad hip and the decision was made to put me on the list for a total hip replacement. For those who have experienced this, it is an interesting process. Immediately I was scheduled for a whole battery of tests, including, but not limited to x-rays, heart tests, lung tests, dental tests, nervous systems tests, and more. These are all intended to determine if I was suitable for surgery.

All the tests were completed, however our friend Covid had laid a beating on all scheduled surgeries. Then, towards the end of 2021, I was notified to expect surgery in January 2022. About the same time I received a small injury to my lower leg and it was slow healing, which they thought likely due to me being diabetic. Injury, small or not, has a risk of infection, hence the surgery was cancelled.

Turned out that over the years I have developed poor circulation in my lower legs, causing my legs to be discoloured, and have extremally thin skin, which can be easily abrased, and any wounds would be very slow healing. Following that determination, there came extensive treatment by the wound clinic and home health care (kudos and thanks to these awesome medical professionals). End result, I will now be wearing compression stockings for the remainder of my time.

Good news is, the surgeon seems happy with my condition now and I may be looking at surgery in April of this year. After still more tests of course.

Now, back to this retirement thing.

Of course, any social activity had become a non-starter during 2020, so it was just me, or Kim and I, for the majority of the time. With my hip issues, I made the change from two wheels to three and bought a trike to ride. This made Kim happy and she now rode with me quite a bit. Between the two bikes I managed to put on over 8000 kilometres in 2020. As well the weather was helpful as Kim and I had our last ride of the year the first week of December. Throughout the year our riding was mostly solo. On the odd occasion we rode with others, whenever stopped we would be outside and maintain the suggested two metre distance.

For 2021, social activity remained at a minimum. Kim would go to work and get groceries, being masked and maintaining her distance at all times. Basically I would just stay home, so much that even Otis the cat was getting tired of me. Between the weather, a blown radiator and my leg issues, less than 4000 kilometres was accomplished on the bike. Veterans gatherings were almost nonexistent, while Kiwanis took on an extremely low profile.

2022 was more of the same, however we were starting to get out for our weekly dim sum, socially distanced of course. For me, I think Otis was starting to maybe like having me around, or not. He’s a cat so go figure. Very little riding this year, only about 4000 kilometres again. For my legs they were doing regular appointments as well as home care, so I had to be cautious and was not able to plan much. Come summer our veterans group was having weekly gatherings once more, however they were socially distanced in a parking lot. Oh well, at least we were getting together. Then in the fall, we were able to get together, actually inside. With some of our members being immune compromised, they were not comfortable attending. For Kiwanis, meetings were by Zoom only.

In September, we were lucky enough to add a vehicle to our garage. Defined as a Classic is our 1999 Mercedes SLK 230 sports car. For the next couple of months it was able to steal a few thousand kilometres from the trike, however they seem to get along well anyway. The nice thing is that it expands our ability to have some fun travel, day runs on the trike and longer with the Merc.

So now, here we are in 2023.

Soon it will be three years since we have seen our daughters and grandchildren in Malaysia. Otis and I have held down the home front with me getting out of the house for a few hours averaging one day a week. On occasion maybe two. Right now, this is retirement for me… my house. What day of the week is it? Oh it must be the weekend because Kim is home on Saturday and half of Sunday, and sometimes on a holiday (she works most holidays).

But, things are looking up. As I mentioned, possible surgery in April. Late last year I had a coffee with a friend, then with another friend in January, and now one tomorrow, this with a regular coffee mate from before Covid, but now for the first time in about two years or so. The two “summer rides” are resting in the garage, awaiting Spring and the opportunity to get out and about. An increased level of activity with Kiwanis is being contemplated. Our veterans group is getting together more often. And… we hope to be back in Malaysia about a year from now.

So… the retirement thing, what’s it all about. My experiences have been up and down, back and forth, good and bad. Well, that’s what life is, not only for me, but for every person experiencing the retirement thing. We are all different, not better or worse. All unique!

I’ve thrown a bit of light on my retirement thing, how is yours going?

Want to share? Please do! It would be great to hear from you.

Until next time. Ciao!

Let’s Talk Aging — A Chatbot and Me

So today I thought I’d have a bit of an experiment with this new AI stuff that is being reported on. I created an account with OpenAI to try out their ChatGPT chatbot software.

After logging in, I made the following entry: “Things I notice about aging.” The response I got is shown here in italics.

As a language model, I don’t have personal experience with aging, but I can provide some common observations and changes associated with the aging process:

Physical changes: As people age, they may experience changes in their physical appearance, such as gray hair, wrinkles, and age spots. They may also notice changes in their body shape and size, as well as changes in their mobility and stamina.
Health changes: Aging can bring about changes in health, such as increased risk for chronic diseases like arthritis, heart disease, and diabetes. Additionally, the immune system may weaken, making it easier to get sick or develop infections.
Cognitive changes: As people age, they may notice changes in their cognitive abilities, such as slower reaction times, decreased memory and concentration, and reduced processing speed.
Social changes: Aging can also bring about changes in social relationships, as friends and family members pass away or move away. Older individuals may also become more isolated, which can have negative effects on their mental health.
Emotional changes: As people age, they may experience a range of emotions, including increased feelings of gratitude and contentment, but also sadness or anxiety related to aging, retirement, and declining health.

It’s important to note that not everyone will experience these changes in the same way, and there are steps people can take to maintain their health and well-being as they age, such as staying physically active, eating a healthy diet, engaging in social activities, and seeking medical care as needed.

After reading the response received, without being overly wordy, I decided to give my own response on each of the five points shown. As a reference, I am well into my 74th year (for whatever that may mean).

Physical changes: Well, it seems I still have most of my hair, although it is less populated up there. As my hair has always been quite light blonde it’s hard to tell how gray it may be, however there is no question about my beard, it’s gray and lengthy (last shaved in November 2015). Have some wrinkles, and yes, a few age spots. My basic body shape has essentially unchanged for many years as I have been overweight most of my life, although the underside of my upper arms has gained some extra motion when I shake them. Mobility and stamina will be covered under the next item.
Health changes: I have developed arthritis, slightly in both knees, majorly in my left hip, which is awaiting a complete hip replacement (maybe this year). These of course affect my mobility, and combined with my weight, causes my stamina is affected to some degree. After many tests, the ticker seems to be working well, albeit being just a little weak. Circulation in my lower legs is not great, necessitating the wearing of compression stockings daily. (I look at it as providing a little extra leg protection when on my motorcycle.) Interestingly enough, my immune system remains strong and has a habit of telling sickness and infections to generally “buggar off” (and usually they do).
Cognitive changes: Not sure how my reaction times have changed, as I can still get really mad at myself or my computer in just an instant. In other areas though, like driving, my reactions are good, although my responses have become more tempered and experiences learned over the years have provided me with the knowledge that “stupid is as stupid does” and getting pissed off at it ain’t gonna help. One area I really notice a change though is in my memory. I often say, tongue in cheek, that I suffer from “part-timers”, where I forget things part of the time. This can be so frustrating. For example, I can be talking about someone, can see their face in my mind clear as anything, and their name will not come to me. Then sometime after the conversation is done, Bing, there is the name. Aargh!
Social changes: This is definitely an interesting one. I have lost, and continue to lose, my share of friends or family as they die (I’m not always comfortable with the term “pass away”), and it can create a major change when they are gone. I’m the oldest member of our family line, and have been for the last ten years. I stopped working when I retired for the final time just over four years ago changing my social interactions somewhat. I’ve been a member of Kiwanis since 2001 and a couple of motorcycle organizations since 2017 along with a Canadian Veterans group. However, the kicker came in 2019, when COVID basically said, “y’all just stay home and forget about any social life”. This has been a hard one to recover from as many folks are a bit “gun-shy” and are still not ready to get out and meet other people again. It takes time for sure. It also shows up in the fact that although we were in the habit of traveling to Malaysia to visit our family and friends, pretty much every year, we have not been since early 2020 and probably not until 2024. Not seeing two of our daughters and seven grandchildren is hard.
Emotional changes: A couple of expressions that have been around for many years are, “real men don’t eat quiche” and “real men don’t cry”. Well, for me, I’ve loved quiche all my life, however the crying thing has really come to the fore in the last ten to fifteen years. TV, movies, and real life all have, at times, the ability to open up the tear ducts. Guess older eyes need more lubrication. With regard to feelings of gratitude and contentment, I know that I’m grateful to still be looking at grass from the green side and to have Kim, the love of my life, at my side. Also very grateful for her patience with yours truly (I’m sure it must be sorely tested at times). Can’t say I have a great deal of anxiety or sadness with growing old, however I will admit to occasions of frustration when I find that I am unable to do something I’ve done all my life. Having said that, I’m thinking that I’m not quite over the hill yet, so let’s press on.

Okay, there you have it. Some thoughts about aging. Is that everything? Of course not, however you do get the general idea of what goes on in my head.

So, what goes on in your head? I invite you to share with me, and others who read this blog post, your thoughts or experiences about aging.

Thanks for reading. Catch you again in a future post.

Itchy Boots Visits Haida Gwaii

During my military career, I had a tour in Masset, Queen Charlotte Islands, from 1977 to 1981. On June 3, 2010, the group of nearly 400 islands was renamed Haida Gwaii by the Haida Gwaii Reconciliation Act as part of the Kunst’aa guu – Kunst’aaa Reconciliation Protocol between British Columbia and the Haida people.

I very much enjoyed my time in “the Charlottes”, as we knew it then, and as well, son Colin was born there.

Unfortunately, I have not had an opportunity to return since, although it is on my hope to do list.

As I develop my “Wee Internet Empire” I try to follow quite a few different people as they do different things on social media.

One of those people is a lady named Noraly, from the Netherlands, who goes by the online handle of Itchy Boots. She is a real adventurer and travels around the globe, solo on her motorcycle, documenting her journey on her website, blog and YouTube channel.

Recently her travels had her traveling through Canada, and this took her to Haida Gwaii, making me even more interested in her adventures.

I really liked the four videos which make up this section of her journey. They brought back many memories and, as well, provided information that I was not aware of. In my opinion they can provide people with a really good idea of what Haida Gwaii is like.

Here, in order, are the links to the four videos.

I thought these videos were very interesting, in addition to being well done. I hope you found them to be as well.

Itchy Boots is just one of many folks I follow online. Here I will provide for you her website, and YouTube channel should you like to know more about her.

As well, I invite you to have a look at my “Wee Internet Empire” and check out the different platforms like my blog, podcast, videos and photos. You can also subscribe to my newsletter to be kept up to date on what is being posted and where.

Thanks much for reading. If you like what I do, please share it.

I always appreciate any feedback. Should you have comments, like something, don’t like something, please do let me know.